You mean I have to run? What kind of race is this?

“Oop... I almost forgot. I won't be able to make it fellas. Veronica and I are trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. It might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild.” – Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) Anchorman

I hate jogging.

This isn’t really a surprise. I have never been a fan of running for the sake of running, but I recognize the need for The Race. This does not make the process any more enjoyable. Our first attempts at jogging were foiled by my unbelievably low-quality Nike cross-trainers. The first of many expenses in trying to win a million dollars (gotta spend money to make money) was buying me proper running shoes. The Brooks I got are amazing and bouncy and I almost feel like a person who could wander around town in athletic gear and people would think, “Look at her workout pants and bouncy, breathable running shoes. I bet she jogs.”

Still, even having mastered the look of someone who people might think jogs, if they thought of it at all, I cannot actually jog. Oh, I can run. I can run from here all the way down to that rather close point over there. And I can run with all my might, and then collapse, and go home and watch tv. But extended periods of slow bouncing around a track/sculpture park/concrete campus around the Space Needle? Well that is just no fun.

We considered entering a fun run, to give ourselves a short term goal to meet, but at 30 dollars a person I don’t think it’s going to happen. We had to choose between paying for that and paying our membership dues for Team Works, and we chose Team Works. Team Works is a volunteer program run by Seattle Works, and a more socially conscientious choice, but I am a little disappointed that I can’t try the fun run. I have never been inclined to run in large groups, and I feel I should chase that inkling while it lingers.

Last night Nat set the pace, so I would stop running myself ragged in 3 minutes. Just me and Wilson Phillips’ “Hold On.” And it was going great until the song started to die down, and I realized I was exerting effort in the pursuit of nothing, and my legs hurt and my lungs hurt and under armor is really warm. You see, I just start whining. And once the whining starts and my lungs begin to burn, it’s hard to motivate me again. Nat’s plan? Letting me walk and then making me do the sprint to the mat. There’s no way we’re going to be the team on The Race that loses because we couldn’t get to the mat before another team. We don't want to be thisclose to not being eliminated and watch another team breeze past us, so we’re practicing the sprint. And I would be great at it, if it weren’t for all the jogging. Evil, evil jogging.