I finished a 5K -- That's just like being a runner

At some point in the race I just got thirsty. So super thirsty it was all I could think about. It was raining on us, but only that soft mist that comes down on Seattle at all times, nothing to sooth me. When I got to hot, I ran my arms along the caution tape that marked the race path, drenching my sleeve. But I made it. As much as my mind kept saying, “I don’t want to be doing this,” my body kept on moving. 36.18—a perfectly good time for my first 5K, especially considering I still don’t buy into the joy that running is supposed to bring. Running is a thing of terror and exhaustion. The joy of running for me is similar to that I feel with roller coasters. I hate the actual being on a roller coaster, jerking around and flipping upside down, but I love the part at the end where I am released back into the busy park, disoriented, but still alive and standing on solid ground. It’s all about the sense of accomplishment.

I chose to celebrate my accomplishment by… signing up for another 5K. You could say I am a glutton for punishment, but I would argue that I’m just an optimistic fool. I keep going on roller coasters thinking that this time I will understand the joy people get from being on them, and I will keep running trying to understand how such a dull task can be considered a hobby. And along the way I will increase my speed, decrease my finish time, and become a Racer. The Amazing Race (TAR) is going to require I be willing and able to kick my ass into gear, and I am going to do it. I would hate to be the team that lost because the chubby half couldn’t keep up.

Still, there is more to TAR than running. It involves running, doing things, and then running again. And that is why—cure dramatic music—we are doing the Pineapple Classic (hyperlinks are boring—Google that shit). You run a 5K as a team (Nat, Me, Emily and Chris = Genius Battle Scale Models), carrying a pineapple and completing obstacles along the way. We may have to climb a 12ft wall, or army crawl under barbed wire (wait, haven’t I seen both of these things on TAR?), and in return we will get filthy, enjoy a Hawaiian Luau and fight for our chance to win a 7-day cruise on Norwegian Cruise Lines (or whatever the prize happens to be this year). This will happen after City Chase, and is bound to be the physical challenge we need to prove we are ready to apply for TAR. If we can complete the Pineapple Classic with a decent time I will take it as a sign—we will send in our video. We really ought to get working on that, because it’s much more effective if we can show how much work we’ve put into becoming Race ready.