Episode 3: Run Like Scaled Dogs

Location: Argentina

Recap: Teams first rode buses from Chile into Argentina. Once they arrived, they went to an old saloon where Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid apparently hid-out when in Argentina. This was the first of many examples The Race gave of why we should see Argentina as a country full of outlaws and bandits.

Team Such As (Miss South Carolina and her model boyfriend) got a late start because they went to the hospital with food poisoning. The producers tried to play up the drama in this, but failed, leaving me to believe their illness was as anti-climatic as I thought. Thanks to the way the show tries to even the teams up each leg, their trip to the hospital did nothing to delay their game.

At the hide-out, they had to beat a Travelocity Gnome in a game of five-card stud. As this game takes no skill, this challenge was completed quickly by all teams. I don’t think we’ll be practicing laying cards out in front of ourselves, but maybe in the name of The Race we’ll have to.

Once teams got their gnome, they were directed to the Road Block. One of the team members had to learn how to control a lasso and use it to rope in a little hay bale cow. The Mamas (Two friends/lawyers/moms) had an extremely difficult time with this challenge. Believe it our not, Team Cowboys didn’t have even the tiniest bit of trouble, getting it on the second try. I love you Jet and Cord, even if Nat won’t stop talking about your silly names. Team Lesbians spent a bunch of time bitching about how unfair it is that the Cowboys are born ropers instead of trying to be nice to each other. Nat decided he would be the one to take on this challenge because, apparently (!), he’s lassoed before. You think you know your own husband… I still think it would be fun to try lassoing, and maybe if I can find a place willing to let me milk one of their cows, I can rustle me some cattle.

The Detour choices were Horse Sense or Horse Power. In Horse Power, teams used a wooden polo training horse and hit polo balls down a field. They only had nine tries to get it completed, and had to drag their heavy wooden horse down the field with them. In Horse Sense, teams were given a set of coordinates and had to use a standing, old-fashioned wooden compass to find a bag of gold, which they brought to the lead bandit. We decided we would do Horse Sense, though upon watching the teams go through the challenge, it seems Horse Power might have been the better choice. Still, I have Nat and he has a head for numbers that I lack. The coordinates given were the direction and the number of steps, like follows:

SW 166

E 4

NE 67

W 53

Nat, being brilliant, pointed out that you could subtract the NE from the SW, and the E from the W, and walk straight to your spot. Just 99 paces SW and 49 W. Still, I am not quite as brilliant and not super good with a compass. As the grocery store is full of plastic eggs and Easter candy right now, we will be doing a hunt this weekend using compasses. We’ll pick a starting point, count our steps, and then write down the coordinates for the other person. Anyone in the Seattle area who wants to join, really, really should.

The polo was similar to a slog golf they did last season, where teams had to hit what looked like giant croquet balls through a wet field of tall grass. One of the teams never completed the challenge and Phil (the host) had to come out to them and kick them off. Obviously we need to work on our power swings, and thus we will start with the fine art of croquet this weekend.

Winner: The cowboys, Jet and Cord. For the second week in a row, the challenges were just perfect for them.

Loser: The Mamas. They couldn’t bounce back from how long it took them to lasso their hay bale.

The weekly challenge:

We did not get out to the island to work on my stick shift skill this weekend because of an event called Chilly Hilly. Almost all the roads on the island were closed so we have to postpone that lesson. However, as teams struggled once again with manual transmissions, my belief that I must learn stick was reinforced. We did manage to do all sorts of other embarrassing things in training this weekend that I will write about soon.

Croquet. We will start on a proper field and move on to tall grasses, marshes, and maybe even hitting the ball from atop a sawhorse. I’m realizing now that this blog needs pictures.

Compass work. This is important not only for the challenges, but so that we can navigate ourselves. We’re going to be traveling through foreign lands, but north, south, east and west remain the same.

Now that we have a week of jogging behind us, we’re ready to rev it up a bit. Not only will I be expected to continue running for more than a ¼ mile at a time, but we’re going to start jogging hiking trails. The terrain on The Race is rarely flat, rubberized track made from old tennis shoes, so we’re more effective training in the woods.

Rules for the race

Each week I will list the rules for running the race that we have put together while watching the week’s episode.

- Pay attention and read the clues (This is from last week, but damn if it doesn’t keep tripping people up)

- Don’t just take off driving if you don’t know where you’re going. It’s more effective to figure it out and then go.

- If you’re the passenger, trust the driver. And if you’re the driver, trust that the passenger is doing their best to navigate you